Harry Potter and the What?
by rurounix
Summary: Harry Potter begins his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry amidst rumours of an unknown monstrosity, a mentally deranged Defence Against The Dark Arts 'Professor', the Order and... What is this Hellsing?


- Chapter One -

The Invited Intruders

The Forbidden Forest; open only to those who do not fear imminent death or excruciating pain. On this cloudless night, the forest laid wake to both magnificent and treacherous creatures. With the moonlight radiating its regal horn, the majestic Unicorns galloped liberally through the forest grounds. Their movement stirred the Centaurs, noble beings of divination, who foretell the future through the stars. Then, of course, there's Fluffy. Nothing really special about this three-headed hellhound, only that a certain wild turquoise automobile outshines it… The forest's many inhabitants also included werewolves (though we know not what species), Forest Trolls and who could forget the Acromantulas, gigantic spiders capable of human speech. Indeed the forest hid many secrets. There goes one now, swooshing past on a… _flying carpet?_

        Two hooded figures, whose cloaks whipped in the wind, were clutching the edges of an uncultivated carpet with their lives, a _really _uncultivated and _really high-speed _carpet. "Remind to fumigate this… this… _rug _if we ever get back with ourselves intact." One of them scoffed as he picked a tick off his hair. 

      "The Ministry had their reasons for banning it. Still, we'd better report this defection to Basil " The other replied, trying to get a better a grip lest he became forest fodder. And so they had been in this predicament for a good quarter of a night, bickering and complaining about charmed carpet's code of conduct (Give me an Arabian one anytime) when suddenly, a looming presence brought their focus back on track. 

      "There it is.What d'you s'ppose it's doing here? Would've expected it to be in some poor Muggle town munching on some of them folks." Croaked one of them as he withdrew his wand from his robes.

      "That's what we're here for." The other replied, reciprocating his partner's actions. Seems that these two bozos didn't come riding on an illegal carpet just for a joyride, if this creature was a testament to anything, it would be that no one in their right minds should be chasing it. As it was, the carpet from hell, as they dubbed it, was on its trail. Under the shade of night, one could only see the creature's ominous silhouette formed on the trees, and ominous it was, like an enlarged bat's. It let out an ear-piercing scream before swooping towards a castle in the distance. Apparently those two (on the carpet) knew what it was. One thing was for certain, its destination.

        Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

*

"What was that?" Came the startled voice of Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, and a portly little man toting a bowler hat. He was standing between two cloaked figures, both of which had their exterior hidden behind a hood.  Their slimy and scabby arms, however, were not as well concealed. 

      "Fudge, you are well aware that Dementors are banned from my school." The firm tone of Albus Dumbledore shook the circular room, causing the wizards within the portraits to be purged off their slumber.  He had less concern for the commotion beyond the school grounds as compared to the ones standing before him.

"We've have been through this before, Albus." Fudge said irritably, his distress clearly overpowered by his displeasure. 

"Cornelius, I have made it clear that under no circumstances will these creatures be permitted on these grounds." Dumbledore spoke with authority; He was, after all, the headmaster of Hogwarts.

"I am the Minister! I trust my judgment well enough, Albus. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, especially under _such_ circumstances. I refuse to be in the presence of _it _without protection." Fudge grimaced, his patience diminishing with each syllable. It was obvious that last year's confrontation had left Fudge bitter about anything to do with the man opposite him.

"_It_, as you call it, will not be coming." Dumbledore retorted, " As such, I advise you to make tracks, for you are only wasting your own time."

Before Fudge could bombard Dumbledore with civilized invectives (You emaciated old crackpot!), two people, presumably Ministry personnel were lead into the office by Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, whose expression immediately soured upon seeing the Dementors. Upon further inspection, the assumption proved to be half-right. Sporting a brown beard and rosy features, Amos Diggory from the Department For The Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures entered and stood beside Dumbledore. A most unfamiliar face accompanied his. A face that, in Fudges eye, resembled somewhat of an insult, for he never fancied being near any Muggle, no matter their importance. This one, however, was the basis for this meeting. Ignoring his gaze, she brushed her lengthy blonde hair aside, straightened her glasses and motioned Amos to commence. "Ahh, Fudge. What can I do for you?" Amos inquired in an almost surprised manner, no doubt manufactured.

"All courtesy aside, Amos, what is this preposterous proposal you made to the governors?" 

"Yes," Amos replied with utmost restraint. He was not appreciative of Fudge's tactlessness. "In the light of the events from last yea…" Amos paused, as if suppressing some bad memories. "Excuse me. In the light of last year's incident, and my depleting tolerance for the Ministry in dealing with the re-emergence of the Dar…" He was cut short, however, by a most infuriated Fudge.

"YOU FOOL!" Fudge roared, to the shock of McGonagall and Diggory. "DO YOU ACTUALLY BUY HIS RIDICULOUS CLAIMS?" Fudge directed his finger at Dumbledore. Amos remained solemn as the stunned expression on McGonagall's face soon twisted into fury, and she would have shared it with Fudge too, if not for Dumbledore's deterring gesture.

"It would be most wise of you, Cornelius, to work with the mat…" 

"NO, _YOU_ LISTEN TO ME ALBUS! I HAVE ENDURED ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! I AM WELL AWARE OF YOUR ACTIONS. HOW _DARE_ YOU SEND HAGRID AND MAXIME TO THE GIANTS WITHOUT MY CONSENT!" Fudge yelled. His fist was clenched so tightly it could have crushed a rock to dust. Finally catching his breath, he continued in a threatening whisper, " Do you know what people are saying about me now? My credibility as a Minister is in question! I warned you about going agai…"

"Don't you_ dare_ employ such tongue in front of Professor Dumbledore!" McGonagall contested against Fudge's outburst. It seemed she was unsatisfied that their previous skirmish had failed to determined a victor. Before Fudge could respond, Dumbledore had already positioned himself between him and McGonagall. They must have caught sight of the blaze in his sapphire eyes, for both parties became silent without him wasting any breath. 

"There will be another time and place for you to voice your disapproval of my ethics or belief, Cornelius. Now is not such an instance." Dumbledore commanded, the fire in his eyes unaltered. Fudge, of course, assented (While grumbling something along the lines of 'Gaunt Lunatic'). "Amos, do continue."

"Err… of course. Under such state of affairs, I felt it was appropriate for me to recommend an alternate source of security for Hogwarts. To prevent history from repeating itself, no less." Diggory replied.

"And the governors permitted this?" Fudge inquired, not bothering to hide the disdain in his voice. By now he was doing everything he could to avoid Dumbledore's glaze.

 "Indeed, they have." Amos answered. 

"I understand the grief you are going through as a result of your son's passing. But surely, it did not have to come to this?" Fudge appealed.

"I can assure you, Mr. Fudge," Amos responded, to the contempt of Fudge, "Even if one other than Cedric had fallen prey to the Dark Lord's influence, I would still do the same." 

Fudge flinched before glancing intently at the Muggle, a woman clothed in Muggle business suit and pants. She remained behind Amos, arms crossed in annoyance. She mirrored his glace with frigid calmness.   

"And this, I presume, is the renowned _woman of steel_?" Fudge asked rhetorically.

    "Yes, how ill-mannered I've been." Amos apologized, his eyes hinting something to Fudge. "This is…"

    "Thank you, Mr. Diggory." The Muggle interrupted in a rather shrewd voice. Her expressionless face studied the appearances of every single person in the room before, "Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing, Administrator of the Hellsing Institution. I've been called here today expecting a meeting regarding the utilization of Hellsing's services. However, my presence appears to be unnecessary. If this assumption is incorrect, I hope you all understand, gentlemen, that my schedule is not malleable. Seeing that I'm due back to Headquarters in twenty minutes, I humbly request that you all make haste and reach a static agreement, lest we are forced to end this meeting sans conclusion."

All eyes (angry, shocked, impressed, stunned) settled on this Integral as an awkward silence lingered in the room following her bold statement. It was broken, though, by a most amused Dumbledore. "Yes, yes. Of course we shall conclude this meeting soon, Sir Hellsing. Now, Amos, specific details in regards to this 'security', if you please."

Coughing to clear his throat, Amos began, "As we all know, the Hellsing Institution…"

"Oh, we are very aware of Hellsing Institution's operations, Amos. What were the _exact _terms in the proposal?" Amos was halted by Fudge, who managed to retrieve his pride. 

"Well… The proposal calls for the immediate deployment of one of Hellsing's top operatives into Hogwarts to serve as a preventative measure."

"Why not request assistance from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement? They would be most willing to dispatch a number of their Aurors to the school." Fudge intervened for the umpteenth time. 

"I was getting to that, Mr. Fudge. Seems to me that the Department was led to deem that Hogwarts was producing rebels of sort… 'Disruptors of peace' they were labeled, I believe, and refused to send in any aid. I was forced, under such a predicament, to take matters into my own hands." 

"And that you most definitely did!" Fudge howled, a hint of guilt in his voice. "Not only have you disregarded me as a Minister, you have extended a hand of invitation to an _outsider _in settling our affairs! You know I would never sanction this! Not even if it was the final resort." 

"Minister, my son died because of Lord Voldermort." Amos said flatly. This definitely struck a cord in Cornelius Fudge, who looked like he had seen a ghost for the first time. " My pride and joy as being a father was shattered by him, not by an accident or a blunder on Cedric's part, yet you refuse to acknowledge his return. I'll be damned if I stand and do nothing."

"Tis' the last straw Amos Diggory! You have discredited me for the last time. Be prepared to face an inquiry. As for this proposal, I can assure you-All of you-that I'll do everything within my power to stop it from taking flight. And Albus, I'll be in touch regarding this much needed 'discussion'." And with that, the Minister of Magic reached for the exit. For the last few moments that Fudge remained in the office, one could have mistaken him for a Manticore. Well, in terms of looks anyway. His face was twisted into something even Polyjuice potion could not achieve. As soon as he and his Dementors were 'escorted' out by McGonagall (Who resembled more of a Hungarian Horntail), the 'true' meeting finally began.

"Now Professor Dumbledore, this plan rests upon your approval." Amos pleaded, his hand grasping on a piece of parchment he had removed earlier from his robes. "All you need to do is sign on this agreement and all will be settled."

Dumbledore's attention, however, was fixed on Integral. "I have a query I wish to resolve, Sir Hellsing. The reputation that your organization possesses is one of utmost notoriousness. As such, can I trust that your operative will be of no threat to my student's safety?"

"He is under me, professor." Integral replied, not showing any hint of emotion. 

"Fair enough. And you, Amos, does this preposition mean that much to you, even if it may result in your dismissal?  " Dumbledore turned to face Amos; his half-moon spectacles drooped down his nose. 

"I did not decide without serious consideration, Professor Dumbledore." Amos said.

"I understand. Then it is settled. As much as I wish it redundant, such precautions mustn't be overlooked. I trust both of your judgments and take it upon myself to prepare the necessary arrangements for this operative." And with that, the meeting was finally over. With a signature, the fate of one was bonded indefinitely to Hogwarts, the one known as…

Just then, a mass of black intruded into Dumbledore's office. Enter Severus Snape, greasy hair and all. But he was not the only one. Following close behind the potions master were two hooded men who were clothed in tattered cloaks. One of them was carrying a rolled-up fabric of sorts. For a while, all six stared at one another blankly. Not knowing where to begin, Snape walked towards Dumbledore and whispered into his ears. Having caught Dumbledore's grave expression, Integral excused herself from the room under the pretext of work. Amos followed suit soon after and the room was left with a most grim Dumbledore, a scowled Snape, and two absolute strangers. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

HARRY POTTER, characters, names, and all related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. © 2001-2002 and/or J.K.Rowling.

HELLSING and all related characters and insignia are copyright and/or trademark Kouta Hirano, Young King Ours, and/or Gonzo Digimation Holdings.

GREAT BIG THANKS to Millikov and Knanaki for Beta-ing this piece of fiction.


End file.
